Normal Day

I wait for the hours to pass,

the days to be consumed into the end of the week.

The pressures of each moment compounding,

the dance of smiles and what is expected;

though it continues to layer,

it continues to expect,

never returning,

never appreciating,

in a place, a time, a world that I do not belong.

Knowledge and skills are inconsequential;

it is the social game of passive, probable friendships

that remove accountability and land on my lap to fix.

I smile as this has stopped being a surprise,

it has stopped being out of the ordinary;

the behavioural normality disappointing and discouraging.

The effort upon effort upon effort

to provide the best that can be done,

but no words are forthcoming,

other than the shortfalls of others placed upon my shoulders;

It does not dissipate with the ego driven

claiming the credit for successes unable to undertake, let alone achieve;

Yet, this is not questioned,

there is no doubt;

I remain in the shadows wondering WTF!

There is no accountability,

there is no reflection of errors;

Simply the irritating sharpness that trust has been misplaced

through the small mindedness of those that cannot and do not

want to see beyond their own mini world.

This is for me to do.

This is for me to fix - apparently.

In the darkened corners I hear the snickering,

the passive humiliation at my expense,

despite the reality and impact of the childish and pathetic antics.

Tomorrow starts another day,

another smile plastered upon my face,

yet no longer reaching my eyes.

The inclusion is but a false sense of security,

quickly disregarded in the moment

as it no longer provides control and dominance,

in an imbalanced, ridiculous manner.

The children of the lesser seem to never grow up,

to learn that the adults were simply children

which had no other choice but to become an adult,

to remain so humouring these children that torment and disrespect.

This is a normal day for me. Not one I care to rejoice.